Disclaimer. Do not read this if:
1. You do not want to know ALL of the details of this birth. I put everything in here for my own record and am being open enough to share them. Some of you may think that it is TMI.
2. You are going to judge me. It is tough for me to share this detailed of information with some people, so I don't want you to mock me for doing it. This one especially applies to family members who may think that I am being a little too liberal in sharing this information.
3. You don't have time or like to read. This is LONG!
We moved to Utah when I was 30 weeks pregnant. I wasn't able to get insurance in Utah until 36 weeks, and I found a midwife named Vivian Dearden. I really wanted to try a midwife this time because my OBGYN last time was a bust. I felt like a piece of office work. She never remembered who I was, made empty promises, and wasn't very personable, and didn't even attend my birth. When I looked up reviews on Vivian, I actually only could find several really bad reviews. I got really worried but decided that I would meet her to decide for myself. When I met her, she seemed pretty cool. Not touchy feely, but not cold either. I asked the nurse for her honest opinion of her and she said that if she was to have a baby, she would want Vivian or one of the other two midwives to deliver her baby, that she is amazing. I went off that and decided to stay with Vivian. She ordered an ultrasound at 37 weeks to make sure that he really was in the right position and that everything was ok. At the ultrasound they said he was going to be a big baby. They estimated 9 lbs 3 oz at that time, but also said it could be off and usually was by about a half a pound either way. They also took some 3D pictures and gave me a DVD of the ultrasound and that was pretty cool. I only had 3 appointments with Vivian, but she remembered me each time. She got more relaxed and was super helpful and seemed totally willing to do everything on my wish list.
My wish list:
-Nave the baby naturally with no medicine (I just really wanted to know what it is like and prove to myself that I can handle pain)
-No IV
-No tearing (not like I could really control that one though)
-Have delayed cord clamping (about 1/3 of the babies blood is still in the cord and by waiting to clamp it, that blood can flow back into their bodies)
-Have them put him on me as soon as he was born
-Labor in comfortable positions
-Not go to the hospital too early
I really wanted to do the things on my wish list but I remembered the pain that I felt when having Oliver (here is Oliver's birth story) and then learning that I was dilated to a 3 when we got to the hospital. I had really been wanting to try a doula, so on October 30, I contacted a few and on October 31, I interviewed two of them. I really clicked with one of them, Raven, and decided to go with her. I just needed someone who could really help me get through it all, tell me I could do it, apply pressure and massage, help direct Eric to help me, and help me achieve my wish list.
This time around I also felt much more prepared as 1. I have already had a baby 2. I read a lot of books to get myself psyched and to learn methods to cope with natural labor. One of the things that I learned from all of my reading was that opening the cervix is a lot more of a mind game than we think. Each night as I went to bed I imagined what my perfect birth would be like and that my cervix was starting to open. Also opening your throat seems to help open your cervix (as I labored I tried to think about opening my throat and my cervix). When I went to my 38 week appointment I was already at 4 cm! Yahoo! The mind game was working!
The last couple nights I had been waking up very wet each morning, but not like my water had broken. It was more annoying than anything and kinda gross. Not something to worry about. I didn't want to have two October babies and was dead set that Teddy couldn't come until at least November 1. We made it past Halloween and on November 1, I was relaxed about finally having a baby. He could come anytime and we were ready. But then I thought, November 2 would be much better than November 1 so that I have a day long break in between Halloween and future birthday party planning.
At a little before 1:30 am on November 2, I got up to go to the bathroom. When I laid backed down all of the sudden there was a big gush of water. I thought, "I think my water just broke, but I'm not completely sure." I went to the bathroom and my underwear was really soaked, so I took a towel back to bed. The midwife had said that if my water broke I needed to come in immediately since the timer for 24 hours would be set. But since it was 1:30 am, I wanted to try to sleep some more, and let Eric and Oliver sleep more too. Plus, I wasn't having any contractions and I wanted to see if they would start on my own. More water came out after a bit and I was reassured that my water had broken.
At around 3 am the contractions started. They weren't light, but they weren't unbearable either. I went to the bathroom and got very confused because the clock said 4 am and I was shocked that I had been laying there for that long. Eventually I realized that I had totally forgotten about daylight savings time, but it still was confusing having all of the clocks say different times.
Eric went and slept on the couch since we figured we had a big day ahead of us and I worked through contractions on the bed. They were coming pretty steady so I figured that I'd better finish packing my hospital bag and a bag for Oliver. Once I stood up they got less regular, but were sometimes a little deeper. I never timed them, but they never really seemed to get much longer than 30-45 seconds for the entire labor, which was totally doable. At about 4:30, Eric woke up and packed his bag. I told him we could probably wait another hour or two before heading to the hospital, but about 5 minutes later I decided that he'd better start packing the car.
A little after 5 we got in the car and headed to his parents house. Luckily the contractions slowed down a little again and I only had a few on the drive (which was quite bumpy at times and uncomfortable). We dropped off Oliver and Eric's parents were waiting for him. I told Eric that I did not want to talk to his parents and quickly re-closed the door when they attempted it.
We then headed to the hospital where we met Raven and had to check in in the ER entrance since it wasn't regular business hours. I had pre-registered, but I'm not sure what for because the lady asked like a million questions. I think the lady must have had a horrible night, or never checked in a laboring woman because boy, was she difficult. Eric was parking the car and so I started checking in. Shortly after, I started having a contraction and she kept repeatedly asking me when my birthday was. I couldn't talk back but eventually gently but not so gently yelled back "give me a second!" Luckily Eric came in after that and was able to finish checking in. It seemed like it took about 10 minutes and during that time I was having very regular and quick contractions. The last question was, Do you have Ebola? Nope. Let us go!
They brought us upstairs with me in a wheelchair to a room, and it was a little after 6 am. I wanted a nice big tub and a birthing ball, but when we got up there we realized that I probably wouldn't be getting into the tub and they forgot to bring the ball by. They made me give a urine sample and then checked me and I was already an 8! Yahoo. Raven was great at giving me encouragement, saying I was doing great, the baby would be here really soon, pushing on my knees and my hips, and she did a great job of helping me move around and helping Eric to know how to help best (yes, definitely a run-on sentence). Shortly after they checked me they said the computer in the room wasn't working so we had to move over a room.
While I was giving the urine sample I could feel him move down in my body and was already feeling a slight urge to push. When we got in the other room, the only position that sounded comfortable was on my hands and knees. Eventually that turned into hanging over the back of the bed while on my knees. We turned on my playlist of music to get more motivated and had a few more regular contractions, then I couldn't really help but start to push. I couldn't really see what was going on in the room or how many nurses there were (maybe 3?), but they didn't seem so excited about me pushing. My midwife was on call, but hadn't made it in yet.
At 6:51 I said that I was pushing and the midwife walked in right then. I can't say that it was pleasant to push out a baby, but it wasn't so horrible. It didn't feel anything like what I thought it would, not that I knew what to think. I couldn't really tell where he was in my birth canal and no one ever said anything like he was crowning, just that I needed to keep pushing. It was quite neat how the contractions got further apart while I was pushing to give me a break. Sometimes I could feel him move down and up and other times it just felt like pressure. Once his head was out she said the shoulders were pretty big and they were a little harder to get out, but I couldn't tell if she did anything. They just kept telling me to push harder and longer and then all of the sudden he was out! The song that was playing when he came out was "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys. It was one of the few songs that I noticed was playing and I thought it was quite fitting.
I had to then flip over and the midwife passed him under my legs to me before I sat down. He was all gooey but not nearly as gooey as he could have been. They let the cord blood drain back into him and Eric got to cut the cord this time. It was pretty cool. As I sat there holding him, the placenta just slipped out on its own. It didn't hurt at all. Everyone was so curious about how much he weighed since his cheeks and neck and legs were so fat. After I held him for a while, they cleaned him up a bit and weighed him. 10 lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long, head- 36 cm.
I got everything on my wish list except for the tearing part. I had a second degree tear this time. But I was actually totally fine with that since I had a 3rd degree with Oliver. 2nd degree is an improvement! And I didn't get a hemorrhoid this time! Yahoo! After my midwife stitched me up (she numbed it so it didn't hurt so bad) I nursed him and he did really great. Turns out though that he only does really great nursing when he is starving. It is almost impossible to get him to latch so far if he isn't really really wanting it.
They then took him to the nursery and me to a new room. I then went to the nursery with Eric and saw him get his first bath. It was great being able to move around since I hadn't had the epidural. The nurses were much cooler with me moving around this time. Theodore's blood sugar was a little on the low side so they gave him a little formula, which he then spit up for the next 4 hours. But after that it was fine and they didn't give him anymore.
And that is about it. We only had to stay 24 hours at the hospital and we even got a couples dinner where they set the table in the room for Eric and me. It was sweet and the food was pretty good too.
So what are my thoughts about going natural over having an epidural?
Epidural- I definitely don't have anything against anyone having one if they want one. I don't think I could have survived Oliver's birth without one. It felt really amazing to not feel any pain at all. But it also was annoying to be stuck in one position, not having a choice really to use gravity as an aid and being completely unable to fend for yourself in some ways. I also think that it slowed my labor down and contributed to my labor taking a long time and needing other interventions. But I'm glad that I had one and know what it is like.
Non-medicated labor- I think that this requires a lot of mental effort. And I think it is important to not think of contractions as contractions, but more as energy surges or a muscle workout. They felt more painful when I thought of them as contractions. You gotta think about your body just doing what it knows how to do, not tightening up and mentally helping your body do what it is trying to do. For me, some of the contractions were more painful than others. While in the contractions I would feel like it was not comfortable at all, but then afterwards I would feel like it really wasn't that bad, but then was a little bummed when the next one came. The fact that my entire labor from when my water broke wasn't even 6 hours made it super doable. Having a doula was key for me. It made everything a lot more manageable once things got tougher. At one point she said that the contractions weren't going to get any worse and she was right. They stayed at about the same level for the last hour and were totally possible to work through. After I pushed him out I thought, "that wasn't very cool", because lets just say I was quite vocal during that short pushing time. Also so people talk about being euphoric after pushing out the baby from all of the endorphins that they get right after. I don't think I actually experienced that. I felt very similar looking at Teddy as I did when I looked at Oliver. I liked that I could move around during labor (although it is still hard when there is a head in your pelvic bone), but most of all, I feel like I am recovering way faster than I did last time. I don't feel all the aches and pains that I did last time and it doesn't hurt that bad to get up and down. I'm not sure if that is because I did it natural or because it is my second or what, but I like it.
And that is how Theodore Malcolm Rigby came into this world on November 2, 2014. Here are the hospital pictures that they took.
